How to handle online criticism and feedback.
Since the very first moment I began training professionals about how to optimize their presence using Social Media, I’ve been asked:
“How do I deal with someone who says something bad about me or about my company?”
This fear of “putting yourself out there” due to the potential of online criticism is so very common. Unfortunately, it can also hold you back from really helping you and your network from achieving success.
First of all, I want to reassure you that this fear is totally normal. We are hard-wired as animals to fear rejection. It’s baked right into our limbic brain to avoid any kind of pain.
Second of all, whenever we try something new, we’re likely to feel vulnerable and exposed.
Here’s the thing: Your network NEEDS to know the information you have to share. No one knows what YOU know from YOUR perspective.
What excites me about LinkedIn (and Social Media in general) is that you no longer have to wait for someone else to give you permission to be an “expert”. At your fingertips, you have access to a wide range of tools to that enable you to empower and educate your network. Using sites like LinkedIn, YouTube, Facebook, blogging etc., you can build a tribe of people who actively want to hear your perspective and share in your success.
As someone once said to me “The best thing about the Internet is that everyone has a voice. The worst thing about the Internet is that everyone has a voice.”
In some ways, online feedback can be so very helpful and beneficial:
- Your network can be your biggest cheerleaders who will support you in your success and help to extend word-of-mouth awareness about you and your company.
- By listening to what your connections, you can improve your communication and your products/services. Constructive feedback isn’t a criticism, it’s often a way you can improve upon your products/services.
At the same time, that very feedback depends upon the context of how they position their comments, right?
Here are 4 ways you can handle online feedback:
1. Say “Thank You”. As long as they aren’t trolls (see point 4 below), always thank someone for taking the time to comment. Regardless about how they phrase their comments, people just want to be heard. By acknowledging their comment, they will often feel better that you’re actually listening and engaging.
2. Think before responding. If it’s a negative post or if they are attempting to provide “constructive criticism”, be sure you take some time to really understand the context of what they are trying to say from an objective point-of-view. When we perceive someone may attack us, our natural animal “fight or flight” emotions kick in. I know that I can often feel hurt when someone says something that seems like an “attack”, but once I take the time to actually cut through the comments, I may find a nugget of valuable information that can help me to improve my services.
After taking a moment to compose my response, I do my best to get on the same side of the table to see if that person’s intent is good, or if it’s malicious. Some people really believe they are trying to help you when they provide feedback. Also, I believe that even if I don’t agree, people are entitled to own opinion.
As a “people-pleaser”, I don’t like confrontation. I do, however, love to have an open debate that welcomes other perspectives and opinions. I think we all win when we are open to seeing things from someone else’s point-of-view. A good, healthy debate can be quite beneficial (and often lacking in today’s online culture). Also, debates can help you gain even more exposure for your business. You’ll find other people will support your point-of-view, and those are the people you want to work with anyway!
3. Ask the person to take the conversation “offline”. No…I’m not saying take them out into the back alley for a brawl! I’m saying that sometimes there are people you can never please. No matter how hard you try, they will continuously downspiral the conversation. Inviting them to discuss their issues via email allows you to publicly acknowledge their comment so the others who are following this thread will see you as proactively listening and offering to rectify the situation.
How you respond speaks volumes!
4. Never – EVER – feed the Trolls. Trolls are people who are simply looking to get you into a fight. They don’t have constructive feedback, they are baiting you into an online argument. For example, someone once wrote as a comment to one of my posts “You get paid for this crap?”. How does one respond to that kind of question? It’s not the least bit productive. If I try to defend myself, I could end up looking foolish. Instead, I simply ignore it. I don’t even delete it. I let it stay online so the Troll is exposed for the fool that he/she is.
My connections and my friends know that I come from a place of service. My intention is to empower and help people be their best selves online. When I ignored the Troll, my friends reached out privately to ask who the “idiot” was (and we had a good chuckle). My friends will have my back no matter what. Trolls will go away if you don’t succumb to their attempt to hurt you or get you fired up.
More often than not, people really do want to share your successes and learn from you. You’ll find that most people will tell you (sometimes face-to-face) how much they value the information you’re sharing because it helps them to improve their lives.
If you have a “win” to share, your friends, family and network want to celebrate with you! They won’t think you’re bragging if they know you’re not a boastful person. Who knows, you may inspire someone to “up” THEIR game online!
You can’t please everyone all the time. If someone is jealous or critical, that’s NOT on you; that’s on them. There is more than enough success to go around for everyone, so stand in your value and continue to help your network.
People NEED to know what YOU know from YOUR perspective!
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NOW IT’S YOUR TURN: What advice do you have for someone who is afraid to share their successes, “wins” or insights? Be sure to answer in the comments below!
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Leslie Hughes is a LinkedIn Optimization Specialist, Professor of Social Media, Corporate Trainer, Principal of PUNCH!media and author of “CREATE. CONNECT. CONVERT”
Leslie was called a “Social Media Guru” by CBC Radio and was featured on CTV’s “The Social” discussing how to manage your digital identity. Leslie has been working in digital marketing since 1997 and founded PUNCH!media in 2009.
PUNCH!media clients include Investment Planning Counsel, Guardian Life Insurance Company of America and TVO.
PUNCH!media’s goal is to empower through education and help executives gain confidence in their online presence so you convert higher-paying clients.
P.S. Did you know if you’re based in Ontario (Canada), you can get access to a training grant that will help offset costs for helping your team ROCK LinkedIn? Check out the Canada-Ontario Job Grant, and email me at leslie@punchmedia.ca if you need training for you and your team! —http://www.tcu.gov.on.ca/eng/eopg/cojg/
