FEAR.

It’s the #1 reason why we tend not to move forward and holds us back from our highest potential.

I don’t want to make a mistake and look stupid.” Is one of the deepest, darkest fears we ALL have.

Did you know our fears are based deep in our biology? Our amygdala – the limbic system within the brain,  is responsible for emotions, survival instincts, and memory. As animals, we are hardwired to want to avoid pain. We don’t have the exact same primal instincts that other animals have, but we do have some of the same functionality that is designed to protect our species.

In addition to our amygdala, we’ve also been raised by our parents, teachers and society to” follow the rules”/obey, and to be modest about our accomplishments.

In this era of Social Media, we’re now told to “BE BOLD!”, “be remarkable” or “create your personal brand”, which is contrary to the hardwiring of our brains and to expectations of societal norms.

Putting yourself “out there” isn’t easy – for ANY of us. As a public speaker, I’ve worried about criticism (and even have actively looked for negative feedback).

But as I continue to push on, I realize that:

a) If I focus on helping or being “of service” to the audience/client/end user, my fears seems to dissipate. Then, the focus isn’t on me (per se), but on the quality of the content I’m delivering. This way, my focus isn’t on me, but on how I can best help my client. When you’re helping, people are far less likely to criticize.

b) It’s easy to criticize from the “cheap seats”. People who criticize usually have NO idea what YOU know from YOUR perspective. Unless they are actually doing what you’re doing, they should probably keep their opinions to themselves. How can they provide an opinion on something they know nothing about? (Read T. Roosevelt’s “Man in the Arena” quote for a powerful “pep” talk on this subject!)

c) Your clients/audience are eagerly waiting to learn from your expertise. When you are holding yourself back, you’re actually doing them a DISSERVICE. It’s easy to say “I’ll do that tomorrow.” or “I’ll wait until it’s perfect” before you upload your LinkedIn Summary, or share a status update. The Golden Nugget of information you share today could completely transform someone else’s life!

Unfortunately, the longer you wait to be “perfect”, the longer you stay cocooned in the comfort of the status quo. 

You’d be surprised how often people simply don’t care about your “mistakes”. You are your worst critic, not the world at large.

Here are five “baby” steps you can take to put fear in its place:

  1. Just click “SEND”.
    Write your bio/Summary. Re-read it, or better yet, have someone proofread your work and just upload it. You can always make changes. I’ve only had a few people “troll” me and I don’t bother responding to trolls. If someone disagrees with my perspective, it’s a great dialogue to have. I might even learn something!
  2. Know that EVERYONE (even famous people like Adele, Barbra Streisand etc.) has the same fears you do; they just push through it. In the future, you’ll look back at your accomplishment and think “Look at me! I did it!”
  3. Every time you make a “baby step” forward, you’ll get stronger. 
    Have you ever done something you thought you’d never be able to do, only to feel euphoric afterwards and say to yourself “Let’s go again!!”? The first time I had to present in front of people I feared that everyone could see how nervous I was. I still get nervous when I stand in front of a crowd, but my internal nervousness isn’t as apparent to the people in the audience and I remind myself that my amygdala is just “at it again”.
  4. Future pace your success.
    Every time you stand in your value and own your worth, you are setting the foundation as a thought leader. The longer you wait to click “SEND”, the longer your future (successful) self will have to wait.
  5. Re-frame fear into excitement.
    Fear and excitement are similar in a lot of ways. Once again, think about how your future self will thank you for being brave and taking action.

Just like learning to ride your bike, skiing for the first time – or anything you’ve ever had to learn. We all started somewhere. Most people will support you on your journey, and you might even be surprised to hear people tell you how brave you are, and how they could “never do what you do”.

You’ll never know unless you try.

 


Leslie Hughes is a LinkedIn Optimization Specialist, Professor of Social Media, Corporate Trainer, Principal of PUNCH!media and author of the book “CREATE. CONNECT. CONVERT.”

Leslie was called a “Social Media Guru” by CBC Radio and was featured on CTV’s “The Social” discussing how to manage your digital identity. Leslie has been working in digital marketing since 1997 and founded PUNCH!media in 2009.

PUNCH!media clients include Guardian Life Insurance Company of America, Investment Planning Counsel, and RBC.

Whether it’s through LinkedIn training or profile optimization, PUNCH!media’s goal is to empower executives with a powerful online presence so they can brand their business properly and convert higher-paying clients.

www.punchmedia.ca leslie@punchmedia.ca

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About Leslie Hughes

Leslie Hughes is a LinkedIn Optimization Specialist, Professor of Social Media, Corporate Trainer, Principal of PUNCH!media and author of “CREATE. CONNECT. CONVERT” Leslie was called a "Social Media Guru" by CBC Radio and was featured on CTV’s “The Social” discussing how to manage your digital identity. Leslie has been working in digital marketing since 1997 and founded PUNCH!media in 2009. PUNCH!media clients include Investment Planning Counsel, Guardian Life Insurance Company of America and TVO. PUNCH!media's goal is to empower through education and help executives gain confidence in their online presence so you convert higher-paying clients. www.punchmedia.ca