Is (n)Etiquette dead? The “Good Manners” Guide for Business.
Right now I have 10 “friend” requests from strangers on Facebook.
Not ONE of them sent me a personal note to introduce themselves, or have made any reference if we’ve met before.
I wonder….would these same people simply show up at my house, knock on the door and invite themselves into my house – if we’ve never met?
Social Media certainly is changing the dynamics of marketing and it seems people either don’t understand that the online world is simply an extension of the offline world. (Either that, or people have lost common sense altogether.)
The courteous way to “friend” (Facebook) or “connect” (LinkedIn) with someone online is to make a simple introduction.
Remind me where we’ve met before. Perhaps a colleague or friend said we should connect in some way. Just a little note is all that is required.
While I’ve noticed that some people have gathered thousands of friends through games like Mafia Wars or Farmville, in addition to my personal account, I also use Facebook for Business so I prefer to be connected to people I have had some sort of “conversation” with.
(Shameless plug: Click on the link to “LIKE” the PUNCH!media page on Facebook.com – http://www/facebook.com/punchmediadotca)
I’m happy to connect with both business associates and personal connections in my Facebook and LinkedIn accounts and have set up lists to keep my personal comments and information separate from my professional connections (click here for the tutorial). I keep this content separate because I don’t think my business connections are interested in my occasional laundry tips, what I’m doing this weekend or odd observation updates.
But, whether I’ve connected with someone in person, or had an online conversation, I want my online “friends” to be based on some sort of prior communication. I want to build quality relationships.
The following “Good Manners” guide (1889) designed for children in the UK is clearly out of date (with many grammatical errors), but there are a few fundamentals of etiquette that still hold true 120 years later.
1. “Be honest, truthful and pure”.
While I disagree with Mark Zuckerberg from Facebook who states that privacy is no longer a ‘social norm’, the widespread connectivity of the Internet has fundamentally changed the way we communicate. What goes on the web, stays on the web.
If you or your company is dishonest, untruthful and dirty, people will share this with their social connections. You can run, but you cannot hide.
2. “Keep Out of Bad Company”
According to Jobvite, 80 percent of companies are planning to use social networks to find or attract candidates. Social networking allows most people to see who you are aligning yourself with and how you’re representing yourself.
If the majority of your online connections are connected to x-rated sites or have inappropriate profile pictures, what does this say about your character?
3. “Do Not Be Selfish, But Share All Your Good Things”
Give more than you receive. You have to earn trust. Giving away tips to make your clients’ lives easier will keep you top-of-mind as the “GO TO” guy/gal/business.
When you give, you get. Make sure you comment and retweet (RT) as often as you self-promote.
4. “Do Not ‘Copy’, Nor Cheat In Any Way”
As I’ve mentioned above, if you’re dishonest, it will come back to haunt you. Same thing goes for plagiarism or using someone’s proprietary information as your own. Getting caught “poaching” someone else’s ideas or property make you appear unethical. Credit your sources.
5. “Salute Your Ministers, Teachers and Acquaintances”
This point gave me a bit of a giggle, but when used as a metaphor, when you respect your community, you will earn respect back.
6. “Never Interrupt When A Person Is Speaking”
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and opposite viewpoints make discussions interesting (wouldn’t it be boring if we all agreed on the same topics?).
The important point (missing) here is to LISTEN. Listen to your clients/customers. Listen to your prospects. Listen to you competitors. Just listen.
You can better fulfill the needs and wants of your clients if you are truly listening.
You can better assess your strengths, weakness, opportunities, and threats if you know what is going on with your competitors.
7. “Be Punctual”
Social media is happening in real-time. Be sure to respond in a timely fashion. If you’re not available and accessible to your clients/customers, they’ll soon discover your competitor who responded first.
And as my Mother always said:
8. “Always Do To Others As You Would Wish Them To Do To You”
Need I say more?
[…] Right now I have 10 "friend" requests from strangers on Facebook. Not ONE of them sent me a personal note to introduce themselves, or have made any reference if we've met before. I wonder….would these same people simply show up at my house, knock on the door and invite themselves into my house – if we've never met? Social Media certainly is changing the dynamics of marketing and it seems people either don't understand that the online world is s … Read More […]
I have been contacted by a few businesses that set up personal pages and wanted to be my friend. I have never met these people before and like you mentioned above they did not introduce themselves to me in any way.
I feel that if you are a business then it is more appropriate to set up a page not a personal profile. Then invite people to like your page. You can still put alot of yourself and make the page very personal but keep friends to your real friends!